Happy Mother’s Day.
I think so often about what this day means to different people. I think about the different types of mothers I’ve been and the mothers I’ve known along my short journey. I think about the ways it has formed me and defined me, the ways it has ran me ragged, the ways it has clarified me, the ways it has brought me profound joy.
I am a mother today, I wake up every morning with the task of loving my daughter and i don’t forget how lucky I am to get to love her. And I don’t forget all the other types of mother’s days I’ve had.
So, to the mother who hasn’t been able to have a child: I’m so sorry for the way this day hurts for you in such a silent way. I’m sorry you have to congratulate every mom around you with the quiet undercurrent of pain that reminds you that you’re not one of them. I know that when people who know your struggle and secretly elbow you and whisper a “happy mothers day (one day),” you’ll want to punch them in the arm for exposing such a raw bit of your soul and simultaneously cry on their shoulder because it truly is that empty without the baby you want to be holding. I’m sorry that baby showers feel like hot tar showers. I’m sorry that the lack of mothering leaves your love to turn in on itself and eat away at your sense of identity. I’m sorry that today you have to fake-smile so much and ugly-cry in the bathroom.
To the mother of a sick child: I’m sorry you have to wonder what next mother’s day will be like. I hate that you have to live in the moment by nature of the reality of your potential loss. I’m sorry you know hospital rooms and doctors visits and the soul crushing fear of loss. I know that watching someone you love in the midst of pain can all but wreck your heart, but I know too the strength of a mother to love through it all.
To the mothers who have had their worst fears realized and lost their child: I’m sorry you have to have the black hole of grief swallowing entire parts of you and morphing everything around it into something resembling grief. I’m sorry that the term mother feels like a brutal reminder of what you are to someone you cannot hold and kiss. I hold your emptiness near to my heart. I know the overwhelming power of a love for a child and with all my heart believe that the loss of one, goes most deeply against the grain of the way this life was meant to be. I can say nothing but that I pray for peace, for everlasting joy, for the grace of God to be what it claims to be - our only hope.
The very best parts of myself exist because I am, and have always been, loved with an never-ending love by my mother. And now I pass that on to loving endlessly my daughter.
I know the grace of God and see his greatest expression of himself through the love of a mother to her child. I find his greatest compassion and endless mercy on display in the heart of a mother. In all the confusion about the world we live in, a mother to her child is some of the best we have to offer as human beings. This love is what makes us human. It is what makes us godly. It is the greatest example of love that cannot be tamed.
May we allow the all-consuming love of motherhood to wreck us. May we see and love those for whom mother’s day brings pain. May we always recognize in the mothers who have raised us, what they gave to love us well. May the world resemble in greater and greater ways the powerful example of goodness found in a mother.
May a mother’s love be a beacon of hope for our souls and for our world.
Happy Mother’s Day!