It’s been rather quiet over here on my blog. I am not cooking so no fun recipes and I have no time to read or think much so I don’t have any particularly interesting thoughts to share. But we moved people! We Moved! Some really generous friends came over and helped us lug our life six blocks from our old place to our new one. We loaded up pretty much everything into our back bedroom and our garage so all we have is a bed. But I made it very cozy so at least there’s that. All of our kitchen appliances are currently in our dining room as the kitchen is down to the studs. The cats are losing their minds and so are we a little bit, but we woke up this morning and wandered around our tiny space dreaming about what it would be. And the really lovely news is that our kitchen will be done in just two weeks thanks to our magician contractor and his team. We’ll be sure to take good before and after photos.
In other news, we had a meeting with our cardiac surgeon today. He said there’s only a 50/50 chance the heart condition Colette has been diagnosed with even exists. Apparently it’s hard to see aortic arches. If the condition is present it’s a very common and uncomplicated surgery and they might even be able to go through an incision in her back. He was very unconcerned and we left a meeting with a doctor feeling buoyant, which is a new experience.
I feel lighter recently and excited to meet her. I feel hopeful that’s we’ll all make it through this with some scars but a ton of strength. By the grace of God we are seeing miracles happen in her tiny body and we are getting through it all with peace and an unexpected joy.
Sometimes I have moments of sadness when I remember that this isn’t normal. I walked into target and saw a cute little baby outfit and thought how bizarre it was that I haven’t bought anything for her. I remember that my celebration is tentative, that it almost makes me sad to have joy because it reminds me that I might have to let go. But we’re celebrating in ways that don’t feel overwhelming. My sisters, my mom and I did a spa day and Glen Ivey for a mini celebration. Some friends are taking me to a fun lunch at Pelican Hill. I was in a team meeting at work and all my co-workers stood around me and prayed for me and I sobbed because I suppose I believe in prayer. The amount of people that reach out to me and remind me they are praying daily for Colette could make me sob in this café I’m sitting in. Our people are celebrating joyfully with us in just the ways we need them to and they are very tangibly a source of strength in moments of weakness. For all of this I am so grateful.
This is all to say that in the chaos we’re quite irrationally ok.
That’s all for now, more to come.