I have some thoughts on travel so that as a human race we will survive our inevitable future of over-population. I believe that airports specifically reveal our complete incapacity to evolve into an organized sensible species. This hypothesis is revealed in the following erroneous travel tendencies:
First, the baggage claim and the chaos that ensues. Why in the name of our holy mother mary do we need to cram up against the turn table until our knees are smashing into the metal? What does this accomplish? Are we afraid that we won’t have time to take the 6 steps forward necessary to grab our bags when we see it coming around the bend at a snails pace? Are we nervous that we might not see it unless we are capable of laying on the belt in a moments notice? Are we concerned someone might steal our bags unless we hover our presence over the place of our bags future exit? Do we think our bags will come more quickly if the belt senses our anxiety and nearness?
I do not know! These things confuse me and I spend my bag-waiting moments staring with hatred at the backs of all those who just want their moment with no concern for the greater good (this bag waiting pattern, I believe, runs deep into greater themes of human depravity). My solution is as follows: step back. That is my entire solution. Resist the urge to try and get ahead because you can’t, your bag will come when it comes. In this utopian society of my making, we would all be able to see more clearly when our bags come and access it with ease rather than shoving belt hoverers out of the way.
Second, in a place that is generally used for a walkway, walk. If you feel the need for a quick chat with your friends, or a scan at your map to find which way to turn, an over the shoulder glance and then a quick move to the edge of the walkway will save us all from chaos and destruction. On this note, it should be said that if you are noticing that your pace is quite slower than the speed of traffic, do your best not to spread out across the entire span of the walkway so as to force all those behind you to forever remain behind you.
Third, lines. In the states we really like stanchions and ropes to control lines, we need these because our narcissistic tendencies urge us to try and get ahead. This has trained Americans to stand in orderly lines and so I sometimes forget that our nature is not linear, until I go to countries where lines are a mass of humanity standing far too close to each other. At the beginning of our trip I rolled my eyes at the chaos and waited patiently in order, but by the end of the trip I was straight out of Lord of the Flies. I had digressed to my uncivilized tendencies as I shoved my way to the front, sweat dripping and hair in my face ready to do what it takes to get mine. I have returned home and regained my composure and orderliness, woah.
Fourth, boarding a plane. I just have one thought on this, if you are in boarding group C and they are boarding group A, and you are standing anywhere less than 30 feet from the gate I will hate you and I will do my best to let you know that with my face.
Is there something wrong with me that my first topic I wrote about after returning home was my anger towards people? You may be surprised to know I'm not even a type-A person, maybe I'm the one that needs to step back and calm down. But the people are ruining my zen!!! I just want more for us as the human race, I do believe we can be better. If I run for president that will be my slogan, "we can be better". Or maybe something about zen.