I super hate pyramid schemes, ahem, multi-level marketing. It’s all over my world, buy me, buy me.
"All you have to do is purchase this product that burns up all your fat and simultaneously makes your muscles spasm so that you’re toning up your body right there in your office chair without ever moving, you’ll look like Jillian Micheals but be richer and have no friends left in just three months! What a deal, and bonus, it’s all plant based made out of bronacancerite and naturochemaline."
We already have to deal with a lot of people digitally screaming into our consciousness to choose them. My personal favorite are the ads that pop up over the content of an article and pretty much shut down your computer and the internet trying to do some weird moving graphic and take so long to close out that 0% of readers survive the debacle and remain on the site (that ad better be paying your mortgage). I pride myself in my skills of averting my gaze away from the clutter of ads, for example if I google something I’ll always scroll below the ads links even if it’s the link I’m looking for, just out of principle (yes I’m the youngest sibling why does that matter?). Now though, it’s worse because my friends are marketing at me on social media. I have brands I follow on social media because I like their product, plexi drink away your fat is not one of them. I do not care about it and I am highly uninterested in a photo of an ugly line-up of the products and a quote about, omg it’s finally the one product that cures cancer and clears acne all at ooooonce.
Suddenly is has turned my social media friends into car sales men. They have this weird tone in their voice as they find awkward ways of bringing up the benefits of crazy pill healer and asking really invasive questions to find ways to apply its benefit to my life. Are you afraid of getting cancer, ya I bet you are, just swallow this brown powder made from natural cave rock particles fermented into globs,which cannot be replicated and is only found in obscure mountain -boom – you’ve got all the vegetables you’ll ever need in that one drink. Plus it could be free if you get forty of your friends to take it too.
Or worse, you get weekly 800 word emails from someone who you met 5 years ago at the gym, and they’re trying to friend you up and do a super sly mention of, oh ya this product cures the average headache and will most likely end global warming, and if you thought you couldn't sell this yourself, you're wrong! Just sit around and annoy the hell out of your friends all day and your numbers start doubling, it's just twenty times math math plus this and youuu've GOT that new car.
Now I'm so mad that even if it is a great product, the marketing of it makes me never want to buy it. I like essential oils (message me if you’re interested) but I don’t buy the pyramid brands because it’s annoying to me.
The absolute worst part of it all, is multi level marketing is GENIUS! I never pay attention to the chaos around the border of my screen, but I just cannot get away from Rodantheyou’ll look twenty for life.
…was that a little dramatic?