I want a Himalayan Sea Salt Lamp. Partially because they're pretty and they give off a vibey warm glow, but mostly because they make you happy. Shh, yes they do!
You know how you feel happy and energetic after you've been at the beach, or out in nature? There's a scientific reason for such happiness (other than the fact that you're not at work). It's called negative ions, which are created from sunlight, radiation, air, and moving water. There are tens of thousands of them in beach areas, near waterfalls, in the mountains etc. and there are very few, if any under the florescent lights in your cubicle. These negative ions are believed to boost seratonin levels leading to positivity, studies show they increase the flow of oxygen in the brain helping bring mind clarity and energy, and they cleanse the air of germs and allergens.
So, himalayan salt lamps - the salt attracts water and cleanses it, the heat from the light causes it to evaporate quickly and in evaporation it releases bursts of happiness energy into your air (you can also get machines that do this probably more effectively, but they're ug). Like most eastern medicine the effects aren't proven (because why research nature when pharma is a multi billion dollar industry) but there is a lot of good research behind it - and anyways it's pretty.
Everybody text Trever and tell him I need it, I find nagging to be a very effective (and mature) tactic - he's a lucky guy. Side: The reason my lamp request is being denied is not due to any sexist domination on his part, but rather to my obsession with thousands of other related hippie health products…I've gone too far. I'm pretty sure if I were managing our money we would be living on the street, but damn would we be healthy.