Seven years ago today Trever and I got married. I was a week into being 21, going into my senior year of college and marrying the only person I had ever dated. We met when I was 15, I had gone to stay with my sister for spring break and met him there at her college…he was 19 (so many jokes in your mind, I know). We were friends for a couple of months and then started dating, I got a drivers license, graduated highschool, started college, grew up, changed a lot and we stayed together for 6 years until getting married in 2008. We’ve been together for 13 years and married for 7 and in one sense it seems like a lifetime ago, and in some other ways it feels like our wedding was yesterday.
I was writing about love the other day, how it changes over time. How you think it’s supposed to be one thing, and then you think it fails you because it’s something else. Love is funny that way, it can be so fluid, because suddenly it will flourish and become the fulfillment of everything, the completion, the water that blurs the paint between the two and makes it a masterpiece.
Marriage was really hard for us at first and I thought that was going to be our reality forever, just a lot of really hard work. But it turns out that each year gets better, we become kinder to each other, we learn to love the same things because we love each other, we expect less of each other, we understand each other, we become more secure, we give more, we forgive more, we love more. When people talk about different kinds of love it seems everyone is chasing after movie love, the romantic sappy new puppy kind of love. But that’s not the good stuff. The good stuff comes with time, with hard work, with knowing one another in really deep ways and loving one another all the same. And we’re only 7 years in, I can only imagine what’s to come.
I had a friend ask me the other day if marriage was worth it. It fails so often and can be so tragic when it does. I babbled on about why it was, giving her all these details and thoughts about it, but really all I was saying to her was, “yes, of course it is”.